In my discussions with parents, I hear the distress in their voice, wondering if they are making a difference in the life of their son or daughter. They ask questions like how to help their kids handle teasing, avoid substance use, feel confident and build solid self-esteem. While the answers to these complex questions may take time to implement, one thing remains true - parents can make a difference. As we found in a 2006 study, adolescents who perceive that their parents (mother and/or father) care about them, feel as though they can talk to them, and value their opinions (even if they don't heed the advice!) are adolescents who have stronger mental health. These are the adolescents who are less likely to experience depression and low self-esteem. They are also less likely to use substances, engage in unhealthy weight control behaviors, and attempt suicide. Parents can make significant strides toward helping their kids feel valued by taking time on a regular basis to listen with full attention, making eye contact during conversations, and refraining from quick judgment or providing solutions to the problem. Focus instead on holding a discussion in which pros and cons of many solutions to a problem are discussed, and seek to help the young person make an appropriate decision on his or her own.

Unfortunately, families have been an easy target for blame when it comes to mental and behavioral health problems among youth. Regardless of whether families are part of the problem, they can be part of the solution. In 2001, we published a paper on the associations between family meal frequency and symptoms of bulimia nervosa among 560 college-aged females. Results were clear - the more frequently families ate dinner together, the lower the scores on measures of bulimic symptoms. In part, this reflects a broader picture, in that those families who ate together more frequently were also those that were more cohesive, more likely to promote individuals being self-sufficient, and less focused on achievement in a competitive manner than those families who ate together less frequently.

What are the recommendations based on these findings?
Families should be encouraged to eat together, taking into account barriers such as specific family environments and time factors. In families where frequent family meals are not feasible or could be detrimental due to the overall family functioning (e.g., in cases of violent families or families in which there is another member with an active eating disorder), children may benefit from spending time and eating meals with more appropriate role models.

Several weeks ago, in a meeting with several colleagues in the field of eating disorders, we discussed the role of family members in preventing eating disorders. This came on the heels of an excellent presentation by an MPH student who conducted interviews with individuals receiving treatment for an eating disorder, and who were asked to identify how parents could prevent eating, weight, and shape concerns.

This is not to say that family members are responsible for causing eating disturbances, but to assert that they can be part of the solution in preventing them (obviously other parts are shared with schools, coaches, the media, role models, etc.).

The question is, “How can we provide guidance to families on prevention practices (such as not engaging in or tolerating weight/shape-related teasing, promoting healthy eating without emphasizing dieting and weight status, being a role model for positive body image, etc.) without family members feeling blamed?”

I’d welcome your thoughts on this concern so that we can provide prevention practices in a manner that is encouraging and welcoming. Thank you.