The University of Michigan's World Values Surveys has been keeping track of happiness in different countries across the globe for over 20 years. No surprise, the United States didn't make the top of the list. In fact, their research has shown that at any point in time, one-fourth of Americans are mildly depressed. Yet there is some very interesting research (see Lichter, Haye & Kammann, 1980, New Zealand Psychologist article "Increasing happiness through cognitive retraining") that shows that we may be able to increase our happiness in only ten minutes per day! Two groups were compared: one was asked to discuss happiness-relevant issues and the other was asked to recite happiness-increasing affirmations for ten minutes each morning. Both groups reported an increase in happiness by 25%. I think this is another amazing and fascinating example of how significant our thoughts are toward our mental health. Are you ready to give ten minutes of your day to feel more happy?

Kids seem to learn something new all the time (sometimes they learn things we don't want them to know, but that's not the point!). Part of this learning comes from their willingness to try over and over again. I'm reminded of this every time I go downhill skiing. Mountains that look daunting to me are tackled with ease by the 'mogul mice' on the same run. The kids don't seem to be thinking about all of the painful things that could happen if they fall or ram into the towering aspens and pines - - the kids look pretty fearless. They are living in the moment, breathing the crisp air, enjoying the great outdoors, and having fun. Before the sun passes behind the mountain peaks, they may go down the same short run 100 times in order to master their balance, speed, and direction. They are tenacious. It seems to me that as we age we can become impatient, wanting new skills and lessons to come more quickly and easily than they do. Yet impatience can lead to significant frustration. Perhaps, in our curiosity of the world, we can remind ourselves that our persistence in trying new things may pay off in the future, but that we need to give it ample time.

A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence. - - Jim Watkins

I recently had a conversation with a client during which we were talking about how long and overwhelming life's list of tasks can be. She was starting to come to the conclusion that it wasn't worthwhile - that for every one thing she might work on, several more crept up and perhaps it wasn't worth trying anymore. Her despair and fatigue were palpable. I asked her if she knew the Story of the Starfish, and a sly smile crept across her face as she and I both recited parts of the message behind this story. I share it here as inspiration for us to continue on, even when life seems daunting, because we can make a difference.

The Star Thrower (adapted, by Loren Eiseley)

One day a wise man was walking along the shore; as he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day, so he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead, he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?" The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing Starfish into the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked; why are you throwing Starfish into the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and Starfish all along it, you can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely, then bent down, picked up another Starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves. "It made a difference for that one."

Do you remember learning how to ride a bicycle? If you were like me, you didn't jump on a 2-wheel bike right away. Perhaps you had a Big Wheel or a tricycle, which offered stability while having fun. After a period of time and mastery of the 3-wheeler, perhaps you advanced to your first 2-wheel bicycle (equipped with training wheels), which provided stability while allowing you to experience how to balance. Maybe the next step was to flip up the training wheels before someone eventually took them off completely. Each of these steps afforded you the opportunity to have great fun while providing a gradual reduction in protection while you were learning how to balance, steer, accelerate and brake.

Many of life's lessons are learned through the same model of risk and protection. Sure, you could learn about how to ride a bike from reading a book, but until you get out there and try it for yourself, the full lesson is not likely to be realized.

Calculated risks are a pathway to growth and learning. We must challenge ourselves with new experiences in order to grow and reach our fullest capacity.