Is there a worthy goal in your life that you'd like to achieve? Perhaps completing a training certificate or degree, or finding a soulmate? When you think about working toward these important goals, do you see an easy straight path, or are there obstacles in the way? The shortest distance between you and this achievement is the straight line through the challenges that you see, not around them. The straight line may appear to be a more difficult path, but perhaps worth more consideration since hurdling the obstacles may provide a sense of strength and pride, and may save you time.

In order for most of our personal needs to be fulfilled, we need to build a community of persons around us. One friend may be exceptional at providing support while a different friend is a consummate cheerleader. Your spouse or partner may be helpful around the house but you may find yourself turning to someone else when you need empathy. The reality is that few people in the world are single-handedly able to meet all of our needs. Thus, it is important to build a community around you of people who can individually add stability, strength, empathy, compassion and encourgement to your world. If you identify that one or more of your need areas isn't being met, what persons might be able to fill that gap?

There was some buzz a few months ago about self-esteem - too much versus too little - as a result of some comments made by Allan Josephson, MD, the chairman of the Family Committee of the American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. A number of clients asked questions about the idea that too much praise is problematic. Dr. Josephson asserts that children who are overly praised, particularly when the performance is not praise-worthy, may become dependent on positive external feedback, and also may be at risk for problems such as arrogance and entitlement, alcohol and drug use, bullying, and risky sexual behaviors. While not enough praise is problematic, too much praise (particularly in light of poor or average performance) may be problematic, too.

So you may now be asking yourself, what's the right balance in order to develop a healthy level of self-esteem? Josephson's belief is that healthy self-esteem is a combination of a) having parents, guardians and role models who are physically and emotionally available, with b) having those people set appropriate limits on behavior and help the individual develop autonomy.

He specifically suggests that adult role models try to establish healthy self-esteem in children in the following ways:
• Help children master the tasks associated with, and only with, each developmental stage, from infancy through young adulthood.
• Teach young children to control their impulses and respect the rights of others.
• Reward and applaud true accomplishments; praising every little thing may lead to a constant ned for praise.
• Set limits and stick to them, explaining why a specific action or behavior has a specific consequence.
• Help teens develop autonomy; do not coddle or overprotect them, or unfortunately it may come at their expense.